Main Control
$19,470,248Revenue
Research, positioning, sales argument and long-form copy for what became the main control.
View Case StudyI Turn Paid Traffic
Into Customers.
Direct-response copy, offers and funnel strategy backed by 25+ years of experience and recent DTC work that generated $41.7 million in revenue.
I’m Christopher Simeral. I help DTC brands figure out what their customers need to hear, build the argument around it, and turn that argument into advertorials, VSLs, landing pages, emails and funnels that sell.
$41.7M Revenue.
629,635 Sales.
12 Months.
That was my most recent year as Head Copywriter/Copy Chief for Ancient Remedies, a DTC health and wellness brand.
I wasn't there just to “write copy.”
I researched customers and competitors. Found angles. Developed hooks and mechanisms. Built offers and sales arguments. Wrote advertorials, VSLs, sales pages and upsells. Then we put real traffic against the work, watched what happened, and went back after it again.
My first major test beat the long-standing control by 12%.
The next iteration beat that new control by another 21%.
Because a winner isn't the end of the job.
It's information about what to test next.
A Few Things I've
Written Lately.
Dodge the Decline
12.06%Conversion Rate
An advertorial built around a deeper customer fear: watching your parents lose their mobility and independence, then wondering whether you're headed toward the same future.
View Case StudyThe $37 Handbook
$1,229,131Revenue
A low-friction front-end offer built to make a relatively inexpensive product feel substantially more valuable than its price.
View Case StudyThe Copy Is Only as Good as the Thinking Behind It.
Before I write, I want to know what your customer wants, what they're afraid of, what they've already tried, what they don't believe, what your competitors keep saying, and what your customers say when marketers aren't putting words in their mouths.
That's where the angles come from.
Then it's a matter of building the argument.
What has to be true in the customer's mind before buying becomes the obvious next step?
That's the question behind most of my work.
Sometimes the answer becomes an advertorial. Sometimes it's a VSL, landing page, email sequence, offer or complete funnel.
The format changes.
The job doesn't.
What I Do.
01
WRITE THE THING.
VSLs, advertorials, sales pages, landing pages, email sequences, funnels, upsells, launches and B2B sales assets.
I write direct-response copy designed to move somebody from attention to action. And the strategy comes with it. I’m not waiting for someone to hand me the angle, mechanism, sales argument and offer so I can fill in the blanks.
02
FIX THE THING.
Controls, funnels, offers and campaigns that should be working harder.
I dig into the market, the argument, the offer, the customer journey and whatever performance data is available. Then I look for the leverage: new angles, stronger mechanisms, missed objections, structural problems, better offers and worthwhile tests.
03
FIGURE OUT THE THING.
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t writing the copy. It’s figuring out what the copy should say in the first place.
Positioning, customer research, mechanisms, offer strategy, funnel strategy, creative direction and copy-chief thinking all fall here. Sometimes I stay and write the whole thing. Sometimes you already have people who can execute once somebody figures out where they should be going.
Need the thinking without the execution? I also consult independently.
25+ Years of
Direct Response
Underneath It.
Before Ancient Remedies, I spent 12 years inside a direct-response agency, often moving between multiple clients and markets in the same day.
I've written for DTC brands, SaaS companies, service businesses, information marketers, B2B companies and plenty of businesses that don't fit neatly into a category.
VSLs. Sales letters. Landing pages. Emails. Lead magnets. Video scripts. Direct mail. Complete funnels.
Long before any of that, I started as a political speechwriter.
Turns out getting someone to vote for a candidate and getting someone to buy something require many of the same skills.
Old-School Judgment.
AI at Full Speed.
I use AI extensively.
I also don't let it write my copy for me.
I created MiniMeGPT, my own AI-assisted copywriting system, to accelerate customer research, review mining, competitive analysis, angle development, ideation and iteration.
AI lets me get through enormous amounts of information faster.
Experience tells me what matters once I find it.
That's the combination.
Got Something You're
Trying to Beat?
Maybe it's a control that's getting tired.
Maybe you're paying a fortune for traffic and the funnel isn't doing enough with it.
Maybe you have a good product and can't quite find the argument that makes people care.
Or maybe something is already working and you want to find out how much harder it can work.
Show it to me.